The Downsides of Chasing Perfection and Some Practices for Change

By: Jewel Ray Chaudhuri, Ph.D. | Posted in: Blog | Monday, Dec 7, 2020 - 11:29am

The Downsides of Chasing Perfection and Some Practices for Change 

By Jewel Ray Chaudhuri, Ph.D. 

 

The Downsides of Chasing Perfection 

What has your negative self talk playing havoc in your head these days?

Well, you guessed it. That word ‘perfection’ has our gremlins and negative self-talk going especially in this time of holidays when we say that “it’s got to be perfect.”

But what are the downsides when you chase perfection and set the expectation that it’s (or I) have to be perfect?  Here are just a few:

An Expectation that Can’t Be Met:
You’ve set up an expectation of perfection and when you don’t get it or it falls short, you come to believe the day, event, or hour has been ruined.  

Perfection leads to Procrastination: 
“I’ll only send it out or do that video and let others see it when it’s perfect.” Guess, what

, It’s an unfinished project and all that wisdom that someone could have used has not made it’s way out into the world. 

It Takes up a lot of Time and Energy to Chase Perfection:
Valuable time that could be spent doing things that you love once the project is finished and out the door. Not to mention the spending time in your head with the should and could haves and other judgments that you’re experiencing and sap your energy so you don’t move forward. 

So what can you do instead?

• Let go of the need to be perfect. Easier said than done, right? So, how about laughing at those imperfect moments and letting them go. “I’m or it’s a work in progress” comes to mind here.  
• Set an intention for how you want yourself to be. “I want to have fun”, “I want to be curious”, I want to make a delicious or edible casserole.  
• Choose other words to replace the word ‘perfect’. Good enough, my personal best, excellence are all good replacements. 
• If perfection leads to procrastination set a time frame for getting your project out the door, imperfections and all. 
• Ask yourself: “what’s the worst that can happen?” and “did I survive? 
• When the gremlins start to move in and you start to beat yourself up, stop, literally shake it off, breathe, and switch to a new phrase such as “what worked,” “what I learned.” 

The practice of allowing your imperfect self to shine should release some of the stress and tension we’re facing this holiday season and beyond.