A few days ago, I had a conversation with two young people. We were speaking about how lives are transformed through learning experientially with practices such as meditation. The young woman shared an experience from childhood: being sent to the back of the line because of her height. She created an assessment or judgment that she would always be at the back of the line, an assessment that she carried around for years. Her experience reminded me of my own, an experience that prevented me from speaking up in class. Does this sound familiar? How many of us have had experiences, seemingly innocent, that we carry around for years and that render us powerless and cause us to think and feel “I am less than,” “I am not enough.”
Assessments, positive or negative, can have the same effect. Consider someone who is a talented singer, told she is so good. She is held back by her belief that she is so good that she doesn’t have to learn or to change.
We take assessments to be true or factual, when in reality, they are our own or someone else’s opinion. And, we hold onto them and give them power. They become part of our cellular memory.
So, how do we let go or at least tame these limiting beliefs? First, know that some assessments may have some validity to them. If we’ve heard the same opinion from several people, this may be valuable feedback and may indicate that something needs to change. Rather than shy away from feedback, ask for specifics to then determine whether these opinions may be valid.
Ask yourself some questions:
And, sometimes, we need the help or support of a good coach to bring us to a new place and new actions.